Thursday, April 14, 2011

bar mitzvah invite


It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension, that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son

Jacob Adam

is called to
the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
on Saturday, May 12th - (Yes, we realize it is Mother's Day Weekend) at

Temple Israel
14 Coleytown Road
Westport, Connecticut 06880

at the ungodly hour of 9:00 am
even though you don't really need to be there until 10:20 am to catch the
real action.

If you make it through the three hour service, please skip the kiddush
(it's just cookies and cake) and join us instead for an overly ostentatious Kosher (my husband's idea) evening meal, which starts at 7:00
PM, (not 8:00 PM or you will miss out on the 2000 canapes) at

Birchwood Country Club
25 Kings Hwy South
Westport, CT 06880
(which we had to join just for this event and
you would not believe the initiation fees).

You will be in the presence of lots of boisterous and expensive entertainment and 60 to 70 unruly pre-teens wearing expensive dresses, funny
hats,fake bling and brand new white ankle socks as well as 80-100 middle-aged+ adults, some balding, some with bad toupees, most professionally coiffed, designer attired galore with lots of REAL bling and most "tootsed"
to the nines. At least one third will be hormonally challenged and some will act stupid while under the influence. Some will not even know where or
who they are. Some will complain about the food. Blah Blah Blah.

Please have the courtesy of showing up if you have RSVP'd that you are attending or you will be billed $210.00/plate if you are a no-show.
Please RSVP as soon as you get this invitation and not a day before the cut-off date. I can't take the stress.

The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number. "Off the top of your head" gifts and Gift Cards are a waste of your
time and ours.

Hope you can make it!
Lisa and David Miller

Dress: Black Tie Optional
Theme: 007 James Bond

BYO yarmulke.

No comments: